


I had to fall to lose it all but in the end it doesn't even matter

by ThisIsOnYouPrincess



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, But here you go, F/M, fluff?, idk - Freeform, idk what this is, nope - Freeform, not humour, not really bellarke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-17
Updated: 2014-10-17
Packaged: 2018-02-21 13:36:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2470166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisIsOnYouPrincess/pseuds/ThisIsOnYouPrincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I tried so hard.<br/>I got so far.<br/>But in the end,<br/>It doesn't even matter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I had to fall to lose it all but in the end it doesn't even matter

Of all backup. Not that he wanted any. This was a one man fight, as far as he was concerned.  
There was a reason that he picked up the gun and ran at the grounder instead of running to Clarke.  
But seriously, of all the fucking backup in this camp of criminals, he gets Finn I’ve-never-picked-up-a-gun-in-my-life Collins.  
Not that he has a problem with Finn — well, yeah, actually, he does have a problem with Finn. He’s an asshole. Bellamy seriously doesn’t see what Clarke and Raven see in the doucheface. They could both do so much better—  
And then there’s a grounder flying at him, and Bellamy can’t do much else but fight back. He doesn’t fight to win. Heck, he doesn’t even fight to survive, he couldn’t hope for that much.  
He doesn’t deserve that much.  
And yet he still has Clarke rooting for him. He has his back to her, but he knows she’s still there. He can see Finn running to him in his peripheral vision — it’s not him, he knows that. It’s for Clarke. He heard her scream.  
But why does she care?  
She shouldn’t care.  
She’s not allowed to care about someone like Bellamy. He’s poison, clear and simple, with more demons than he cares to admit.  
She’s pure and good, and hell, she has demons but she goes down fighting. She doesn’t need him in her life.  
She has Finn.  
Finn-the-fucking-doucheface. But he only cheated on her - Bellamy winces, and it’s not because of the punch he’s just received — well not completely because of that.  
It’s because yes, Finn cheated. And yes, Finn’s a douchebag.  
But Finn didn’t kill 321 people.  
No. That was Bellamy.  
So, for as much as he calls Finn a doucheface, Bellamy is something much worse.  
Bellamy is a murderer.  
Bellamy looks behind him, glancing at Clarke. Miller’s hand is wrapped around her arm, pulling her towards the dropship — Bellamy throws a quick but sincere prayer up to a God he doesn’t even believe in — but her eyes are fixed on Bellamy, terror clear as day in the blue orbs. He wants to comfort her.  
He fights instead.  
He fights for the mother he had stolen away from him. He fights for the sister he had to send away to protect because of the civilisation he created. He fights for the mechanic with a heart of steel and a piece of metal wedged in her spine. He fights for the girl with the sun in her hair and the sea in her eyes.  
The girl who fought with him. The girl who fought against him on every little thing.  
The girl who fought for him, when it mattered. Against everyone and everything, including her mother and the father of the boy she should’ve been with.  
The boy who died because of Bellamy.  
322 people died because of him. That’s not counting those on the ground, his people.  
His people, the people he should have fought harder for.  
The people he is fighting for now, despite the fact that it’s too late.  
He feels something press hard into his stomach and he hits the floor.  
He’s being beaten up, he’s not going to live through this.  
He can see the dropship door closing, Clarke’s face anxiously peering through as it grows nearer to her and further from him.  
He’s got no chance.  
But he sees her one last time, he sees her face in his mind.  
He sees the faces of all of the delinquents, those that are here and those that aren’t.  
Wells. Roma. Jasper. Monty. Raven. Charlotte. Mbega. Hell, even Murphy.  
Octavia. Clarke.  
There are worse things to die for.  
In the end, it’s him and Clarke.  
He thinks that he always knew it would be. 

**Author's Note:**

> Title and summary are from 'In the End' by Linkin Park.  
> Characters and lyrics aren't mine.  
> Even the storyline isn't mine.  
> I know that Bellamy doesn't die. But I wanted to write this anyway.  
> So yeah.  
> Hope you enjoyed it.  
> Comment and kudos if ya feel it.


End file.
